Ever since Gary Chapman came out with his book The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts. It’s been showing up every where and many of us have been curious about this topic. It’s definietly an eye opener and a relationship saver. Most of us learned the love language our parents displayed when we were kids.
Later in life we then encorporated others. But if by chance you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what the five love languages are… I’ll give you a quick run down. Love languages are the way a person shows or expresses love.
Some of our love languages differ tremendously from our partners. This can cause disruption and confusion when our partner isn’t happy or doesn’t show enthusiasium for the things we are showing, giving or expressing. Learning each others love language can strengthen a relationship tremendously.
The Five Love Languages
Quality Time. These people’s main focus is spending time with you. It doesn’t matter what you guys are doing as long as you guys are together. Canceled dates and busy schedules can really hurt this person because they value spending time with the one they love.
Recieving Gifts. Some people like, cards, money, cars, flowers, clothes, etc… Without having to ask for them. I call them just because I love and appreciate you gifts. These make them feel special, loved and valued. While others enjoy being the gift giver because that’s how they show their love and appreciation.
Acts of Service. These types of people appreciate you helping them with tasks big or small. It can be a project, cooking dinner, doing laundry, giving them money to start a business etc.. Just lending a hand and showing you care means the world to them. These aren’t the type of people who do well with laziness or broken promises. Some people would deem them some of the hardest people to please because they require you to be consitent with your acts of service.
Physical Touch. These people like to be touched and it doesn’t mean that your gonna be in the bed room getting it on all the time. They enjoy hand holding, kisses and you letting your presence be known when ever crossing paths. This makes them feel safe and secure. But one thing you must know about these type people is they don’t tend to like physical aggressiveness. That can be a deal breaker for them!!!
Words of Affirmation. This is when you say meaningful, encouraging things to your partner. These people prefer this over anything else. They enjoy you speaking life, love, encouragment and positivitity into them. These people enjoy compliments and hearing I love you and I appreciate you. But these are also the type of people that negative or insulting comments really hurt. Those comments aren’t always easy to forget or forgive so you have to be careful and mindful of your word choices with them.
My Experience
When asked what my love language is I sometimes act like it’s a trick question lol. I love all of the love languages and I require a little of this one and a lot of that one. Today I’ll share with you the ones that mean the most to me.
The first would be words of affirmation. I love positivity and encouragement. Suffering with depression isn’t easy so having a supportive encouraging partner is a must for me.
The second would be quality time. I enjoy going out and doing things. But I also enjoy movie days and game nights. I don’t care what I’m doing as long as I’m doing it with the one I love.
I tend to show love in the way I want to be loved. But I’m an over giver. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But I can’t expect my partner to be a giver in that way just because I am. This was a lesson I had to learn and accept. I constantly remind myself that everyone doesn’t love in the way that I love. Everyone doesn’t have the heart that I have. We’re all different and that’s perfectly fine.
We should all try to master all of these love languages. When our partners complain we just hear the complaint. What we don’t realize is the complaint is usually their love language that’s not being fulfilled.
Sometimes fulfilling our partners love language will feel uncomfortable for us. But if you love your partner and want your relationship to grow you will make the necessary changes for it to grow. You should know what each other need and shouldn’t hestitate to do it. Please have those talks, express your needs and allow yourself to be happy.
If at anytime your partner knows your needs and wants and decides to not fulfill them. Especially over an extended period of time. Your partner may not be the mate for you. Think about it and ask yourself today What is my love language? Do I know what my partners love language is? Below is a list of quizzes that can help with this. Don’t forget to like, comment and follow.
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