Dating

YES ….I’M SINGLE!!!…But not quite ready to mingle lol.

After spending the last ten years of my life in two relationships. I’m starting to enjoy and appreciate the idea of just BEING. I use to look at being alone as the worst thing possible. But I’ve recently learned to appreciate the break.

Being single has allowed me to focus more on my goals, myself, and past relationship mistakes. Because honestly who wants to repeat the same mistakes?

But don’t worry if you’re undecided about getting back out there. Or if you’re already out there and things aren’t going good. I’ve got you covered. I’ve decided to share with you a few things you should consider prior to jumping back out on the dating scene.

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INTROSPECTION

Introspection is basically a form of self- reflection. Which consists of you examining and analyzing your thoughts, actions, patterns, emotions and motivations. Take a moment and answer these questions:

Are you happy and content being single?

If you aren’t happy being by yourself or with the current state of your life. A relationship will not bring you any closer to that happiness. Yes, you will have happy joy felt moments. But if you’re not happy on the inside. Nothing your mate does will truly make you happy.

HAPPINESS STARTS WITH YOU!!!!

Create the happiness that you are seeking. Once you’ve done that a mate will be a lovely addition to what’s already going right in your life. Once you’ve mastered the art of finding true happiness from within. The right people and opportunities will start to show up. If they show up right now and you aren’t ready you may sabotage or devalue what’s in front of you. Now is the time to prepare for the blessings that you want and deserve.

Do you tend to rush into relationships?

This is a good one. No one wants to be “the single friend”. But what’s the rush? I hope it’s not because you’re lonely. Or because all of your friends are in relationships. I’d rather be the “single happy friend” over the miserable and in a “bad relationship friend”.

If you fit the description above then it’s time to find a hobby. Start a YouTube channel, set new goals, start a business or a DIY project. Find things that you’re passionate about until you’re really ready.

I’ve been guilty of rushing because I felt like my biological clock was ticking. But I chose to work on myself until I’m ready. That way when my Mr. Right shows up I’ll be happy, healed and open to recieve real and true love.

If you dont already know what you want. I need you to figure out what you really want in life and why. That’s when you’ll start to realize what you really want and need in a mate. Now you’re getting a little closer to that relationship you desire.

Divine timing is at play ….be patient.

Have you healed all old wounds from past relationships?

If your answer is NO then STOP. DON’T swipe right, ignore that DM. DON’T give out your cell phone number.

What you dont heal ….you will repeat. You will continue to attract the same type of man in a different body. Or you will continue to project past hurt and trauma onto anyone you date.

You may have some inner child healing to do. Or some self-esteem issues that need addressing. If this is your story, those things are fixable.

Trust Issues

If you have any trust issues you have to work through them. It is impossible to date when you don’t trust anyone. Get in a space where you’re ready to trust again before getting back out there. How can you date if you aren’t willing to open up to someone? It’s impossible… trust me I know because I’ve done it!!

I’m not saying that you should trust everyone. But allow people to show you who they are so that you can see if they really are trustworthy.

How can someone show you love if you’re carrying around a ton of hurt? I’ve been there too and I’m still carrying a little baggage. Hence why I said I’m single and not quite ready to mingle.

Forgiveness

If you’ve been hurt bad recently or in the past please

FORGIVE YOURSELF.

Forgive yourself for thinking that someone you loved and trusted would not only capture your heart. But would break it while it was in their care. Forgive yourself for being human. It’s okay…you will survive. We have all been in the position you’re in now.

Now FORGIVE THE PERSON who hurt you.

It’s time to cut the cords and break the soul tie.

It’s holding you back from a beautiful new beginning. Heal so that you can find the love that you deserve and desire. Every failed relationship is a lesson and an opportunity for growth. When things don’t work out it’s usually because there’s something better.

Let’s get you prepared for this. Below is an artist that I absolutely love. She’s dope and her music is so relatable and empowering. Savannah Cristina’s music has really helped me. I’m hoping it does the same for you.

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Everything starts with you:

Self Love, Self Care, Selfish.

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Metamorphosis in Love

Author: J’lee

Heartbreak tends to leave wounds that seem impossible to repair.

So much pain, so much sadness and grief.

How can you breathe with no air?

Thoughts that cloud your mental from the idea of finding true love and peace.

Illusions of despair and damage that cannot be repaired.

Lord please take this heartache away, take away this despair.

I’m starting to believe that true love really is rare. 

Am I unworthy of it? Life seems so unfair. 

How can love lift me up so high one day and then drop me on my head.

It’s probably because I overlove, I tend to overgive.

 I’m trying not to make the same mistakes that I made back then.

Starting to look within and learn more about myself.

So when this true love everyone speaks about shows up.

I will be prepared. Prepared to love them in the way that I’m now loving myself.

Honestly, Truthfully and Unconditionally.

 I won’t settle for anything less than the kinda love I’m giving to me.

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