Knowing Your Worth

He didn’t choose me… and I didn’t chase him.

Nothing hurts more than feeling rejected or led on. I remember the goofy shit I would do when I was younger. Like blow someone’s phone up. Send a bunch of text messages or stalk their myspace page.

Hell I would even get my girlfriends phones to call him when he wouldn’t answer my calls. I’m not ashamed either, lol. Sidenote: I was doing all of this when I was coming outta my teens…. into my early 20’s. Oh yeah and this was in the early 2000’s. Back when myspace was popping.

I now look back at my behavior and laugh. I was young and didn’t know any better.

I would never do those things now… at age 35. Simply because I’ve matured and no ones worth it. Not to mention I have too much self love, respect and dignity to behave that way. But back then hell yeah that was my normal. I can remember wanting to know why?

Demanding to know why. Why didn’t he choose me? Why was he distancing himself? Why’d he let me go?… and if he had someone new I wanted to know why her and not me?

I think my reaction to situations was this way due to my abandonment issues. Oh and because I didn’t like to lose. It didn’t necessarily have to be an actual loss of something. But it seemed like one to me and there was a point in my life where everything was a competition to me.

Being competitive isn’t a bad thing but being competitive for the wrong reasons is. Failure or loss can be an extreme blow to the ego of someone with low self esteem, insecurities and unhealed trauma. Over the years I’ve learned to work on those areas and I now compete with no one.

Furthermore, I’ve pretty much mastered the art of walking away from anything that no longer serves me. Why would I chase after anything or anyone that isn’t good for me. Or a person that’s turned their back on me?

I dealt with this in 2020 and I was disappointed. But one thing I won’t do is beat myself up over the actions or lack thereof from someone else. This wasn’t my first rodeo. So I knew exactly how to handle the situation. But finding out what’s going on with your love interest via Facebook wasn’t a good feeling.

But because I’m standing in power and I know who I am and what I bring. I refuse to force someone to see that. His loss… someone else’s gain.

No one’s worth losing sleep over, mental confusion or anxiety.

Honestly, I didn’t even wanna know the reasons as to why he chose someone else. All I know is he had the opportunity to be honest and he wasn’t.

Case closed!!!

If that situation was a test from God about self love or self respect…. I definitely passed it!

No one can put value on you… Except you.

You set the tone to how you wanna be treated.

So know your worth and then add taxes.

Always remember to hold yourself in high regard without being to conceited. Sis know when to hold on and when to let go.

You’re amazingly beautiful and worthy of so much more.

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