Girl Talk Pt. 2


The Effects Low Self Esteem Can Have On A Relationship

Photo by Jasmine Carter on

Having a partner that suffers from low self esteem can cause major issues in a relationship. Ladies have you ever dated or been in a relationship with a man that was possessive, jealous or insecure? I’ve experienced this in the past and quite a few times this year. I was stressed the hell out too. These are the most challenging types of relationships. Especially if both parties are struggling with low self esteem.

Can you really love someone if you’re not loving yourself? I’m gonna say NO.

You can try but you’ll most likely end up hurting the other person instead.

Men Suffer From Low Self Esteem Too Sis!

I’m not telling you to dump your man because of him having low self esteem. But if it’s affecting your happiness and peace over an extended period of time. Then it may be time to move on.

I dated a guy this year that had low self esteem and he was extremely jealous and I told myself NEVER AGAIN. The amount of accusations and reassurance I had to give to him daily was draining me. The situation became very toxic.

I couldn’t get a text message or a YouTube notification without him questioning me. He accused me of messing around with any guy that came around. Including the maintenance man…… Which was preposterous and an outright lie.

The verbal abuse was way too much for me and I was already dealing with my own self esteem issues. Dating a man with self esteem and trust issues only made what I was already going through worse. I was so embarrassed by what I was putting up with. That I hid a lot of it from my friends and family.

It was so bad that if he questioned anything I said or where I was. He would video call me to see if I was being honest. I felt like a prisoner in that relationship.

I wasn’t cheating or seeing anyone but him but because of past experiences he was jealous, had trust issues and his self esteem was clearly low. Unfortunately, I felt like I was in too deep to walk away but eventually I did. I told myself…. NEVER AGAIN! Situations like that are stressful, draining and toxic.

I don’t know if any of you ladies have been in situations like the one I just described. But if you have… feel free to drop it in the comments. Knowing how to spot low self esteem in the beginning is very important. Spotting it is not always easy but don’t fret sis. I’m about to put you on game.

Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on

Signs Your Man Is Suffering From Low Self Esteem

  • He criticizes you.
  • He’s distant or cold.
  • He can’t handle criticism.
  • He’s emotionally needy.
  • His behavior is reckless.
  • He shows signs of jealousy.
  • Displays possessiveness.
  • He feels unworthy of you.
  • Displays self deprecating humor.
  • Constantly tired and depressed.
  • He needs constant reassurance.
  • Unable to admit when he’s wrong.
  • Has a negative attitude or mindset.
  • Loves to brag about possessions, accomplishments etc…
  • He seeks attention outside of your relationship.
  • He wants approval and validation from other women.

My Experience Dating Insecure Men With Low Self Esteem

I haven’t had the best experiences with these types of men. I feel like men are intimidated by a woman who knows who she is and who stands in her power. I’m gonna assume that the strength that a woman exhibits can aggravate these insecurities.

The crazy thing is most of the time women don’t even know what men’s insecurities are. Mainly because these types of men typically come across as overly confident a.k.a. “cocky.” A lot of men have a hard time displaying vulnerability and transparency. Which makes it hard to date, connect or support their needs.

Some of these men even go as far as to tear down a woman’s self esteem in order to make themselves feel better or superior. Ladies, these are the types of men you should stay clear of. He’s more than likely going to do more damage than good because he has unresolved issues and needs to heal.

Men that are confident and believe in what the two of you share won’t be jealous or worried about you going astray. Confident men don’t aim to tear you down instead they aim to lift you up and they add value to your life.

If you’re currently dating a man that displays the signs of low self esteem listed above. Try talking to him about your concerns. Express how you feel about them to them.

If your man isn’t able to handle a conversation like this then it may be time for you to walk away. Especially if when you state your concerns and feelings he makes them your issues and not his. I’ve experienced this as well… It’s referred to as gaslighting. It’s a form of manipulation that aims to make you feel like your perception, memory or reality is not real.

A man has to be willing to fix his self esteem and heal. He won’t truly be able to fulfill your emotional needs until he takes the necessary steps to fulfill his.

You Can’t Fix Him…. But You Can Help Him

Photo by Jasmine Carter on

Remember that you can’t fix him… but if you insist on fighting for your relationship. You can let him know that you are there for him by being supportive. Tell him what you love about him.

Try speaking positivity into your man. It may help to motivate him into loving and accepting himself. Encourage him to speak and think positively about themself. Remind him that you are his partner and not his opponent.

Just remember that if you can’t master a relationship with yourself then you won’t be able to master one with anyone else.

I hope I was able to bring you guys clarity and make you more knowledgeable about dealing with and dating men with self esteem issues.

Below is a song by an artist named Caroline Manning. It’s a song that is for anyone dealing with self esteem issues. I hope it helps and touches your heart.



2 comments on “Girl Talk Pt. 2”

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