I’ve been single for a year and a half and hunny the mistakes I’ve made and seen other women make inspired this post. It’s time to get real and honest. If you want to cut out on wasted time and disappointments then listen up.
I think it’s pretty common for women to be more of an open book than men. But sometimes this really can work against us. Especially when we date men that don’t have the best intentions. It’s February the month of love. I can’t lie my heart melts everytime I see Valentine gifts in stores.
I wanna find love and I want you to find love and fall in love as well. But in order for this to happen ladies we need to be ready, wise and a bit strategic. So, I’ve decided to drop some jewels and tell you guys my do’s and don’ts while dating. Let’s start with the don’ts.
Stop Telling Men How To Be A Man & What You’re Looking For In A Man.
Ladies when we do this… men that don’t have good intentions can or will use this against us. He’ll start playing the role of the man you described while masking the man he truly is. Meanwhile you’re giving him credit and praise for doing what you told him to do. He’s successfully manipulated you and now you’re in love with a man that isn’t who you think he is. Listen more and share less.
Stop Oversharing. Stop Overgiving. Stop Overdoing.
Allow a man to show you who he really is and then move accordingly. How many times has a man asked you what you’re looking for in a man? This is usually when women really start oversharing. I’m guilty of this too. But my suggestion to you is to not answer this question directly.
I tell men that I like a man to be a man and do what men are supposed to do without me having to tell them. That statement is not saying much but still saying a lot. If you’re having the right conversations and if he’s being honest during those talks. He will tell and show you who he is and what he has to offer.
But if you insist on answering the question you could say things like someone with morals, values, integrity and character. Someone ambitious, kindhearted and a good communicator. Even if they pretend to be all of these things… time will reveal the truth through their actions or lack thereof.
Stop Inviting Every Man You Have An Interest In To Your Home.
Being invited to your home should be a privilege. Everyone should not know where you live…. especially if you have kids. We live in a crazy world that has a lot of dangerous crazy people in it. The last thing you want is someone showing up at your door unannounced or after you’ve decided to part ways.
Ladies be mindful of going over to their place too. You never know what he has up his sleeve… it could be sex or to harm you. You can never be too sure so be cautious. Start meeting at public places and when you leave make sure he’s not following you. Protect yourself ladies, there are some real weirdo’s out there.
Stop Giving Men Your Money.
I believe that real men go out and work…. two jobs if need be. In the dating stage you shouldn’t be giving your money to men. I don’t care if it’s them asking for gas money or lunch money. My answer will always be no… DON’T DO IT! Let him ask his mom or his best friend… hell anyone other than you.
Because before you know it it’ll be him needing money for his car note, rent or child support. Some men are users and they will test you by asking you for money or by putting you in situations that require you to pay for things. If he isn’t financially stable then dating/relationships should be the last thing on his mind.
Stop Having Sex With Men Too Early.
Stop sleeping with men before you’re exclusively in a relationship with them. Men will try you just to see what type of woman you are. Sleeping with men fast causes a lot of men to think less of you. Unfortunately some men were taught to think this way.
Most men will say they aren’t judging you. But they are more than likely lying. It’s so important to know who you are and what your standards are. As women we can sometimes decrease our own value based on the way we move and the things we do.
Once you sleep with him you’ve given him what he wants. Once he’s had you more times than a few… have you noticed that he starts to detach and act uninterested? Or if he’s still “interested” he’s only interested in the areas that are beneficial to him.
Mainly because he had no real intentions of committing to you. Men are not confused and they know if they want or see you as a girlfriend/wife quicker than you realize.
Stop giving, cooking and sleeping with men that you barely know. Or that aren’t interested in making you their woman. Like the old saying says “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”
Stop Expecting Human Decency.
The dating world these days isn’t easy. No one you meet is going to immediately treat you like you deserve to be treated. Allow them to show you who they are. This requires you to pump your breaks, take your time and make clear concise decisions. Doing so will save you wasted time and heartbreak.
I’ve learned to stop expecting human decency from people. Simply because you don’t know who raised these people. Nor do you know what type of relationships or marriages they were shown growing up. This plays a HUGE role sometimes in how men love, what men do, how men move.
Set your standards high, set rules and regulations and stick to your beliefs. Once you do this he will show you who he is. Whether it be good or bad accept it. Love yourself and let him see that you are dipped in self love and self respect.
Remember ladies anything you choose to do for a man is a privilege and a gift in the early stages. But I’d suggest that you refrain from doing these things without an extended time of consistency from a man.
No… I’m not a dating expert but I will always spread knowledge and give a little advice. I want us as women to do better and win in all areas of life. It’s possible ladies… don’t give up!! Ladies test out my advice and tell me if it makes a difference in your love life. Don’t forget to comment, like and follow.