Trying To Love An Unhealed Person… Let’s Talk About It!!

Time To Get Real

Life is full of many tests, lessons, and hidden blessings. One of the main lessons I’ve learned is that you’ll never feel or be good enough for someone who doesn’t feel good enough for you. That was a mouth full I know, but it’s the absolute truth.

You do more damage fighting against the inevitable. Without healing there is no real growth or progression. Which in return will lead to and show up as a lack of growth in your outside world. So, imagine trying to pour from an empty cup. Or better yet, imagine realizing that your cup is empty because you’ve poured everything that you have into someone else’s. Now you’re left feeling depleted and defeated.

If I haven’t learned anything in my 37 years, I’ve learned that if you aren’t happy inside or with your life. Nothing anyone else brings, tries, or does will produce happiness. If it does it will be truly short lived. Happiness and fulfilment are an inside job. Not having peace and joy from within equals none in any connection you try to form or keep. But it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed. We can all grow and heal if we set our minds to it and do the work.

The Blame Game

Not understanding the things, I stated above will leave you throwing blame around. Which is counterproductive if you’re looking for any type of resolve. Most people lack the knowledge, understanding and empathy to know that sometimes a person’s behavior has less to do with you and more to do with them.

Not knowing/understanding triggers and not being able to express or communicate emotions, needs, and thoughts proactively can result in huge blow ups. Not just in romantic relationships but in any relationship in your life (examples: work, friendship, family etc..)

Therapy/Counseling

Therapy works wonders. I went into it just wanted to be a better person overall. Better mom, a good wife in the future, and I just wanted to have healthy relationships with people in general. I learned quickly that healing the past and past trauma was what was necessary. Just being able to dig deep and be honest with myself and then others. It was a struggle at first. I lacked boundaries, self-esteem and I was avoidant. Honestly, the first few steps are: honesty, acknowledgement, and accountability.

So, if you are dating, in a relationship or just interacting with someone who hasn’t taken these first steps. Nothing you say or do will help your person. No matter how good of a place you’re coming from. But if this person is willing to take these steps. It will change their life and the trajectory of your relationship with them. Because you can’t expect someone to pour from an empty cup. If you do… you will forever be thristy.

If you genuinely love someone sometimes you must let them, go. So, that they can go and love themselves more, fill their cup and if/when they do. They can return to you healthy, happy, whole and with a cup full of love. In the meantime, work on your own healing, self-love, start a project, find a new hobby. But most of all fill your own cup. Trust the process because who/what’s for you will never pass you by.

Don’t forget to like, share, follow and comment. Until next time 😘