Love Vs. Toxic Attachments

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Honestly, the first step in knowing what real love is. Begins with asking yourself are you giving yourself the type of love you’d like to receive? Because no one will ever love and accept you. If you aren’t loving and accepting yourself.

I’ve had my personal struggles with self esteem and self acceptance in the past. I was my own worst enemy. But over the years I’ve learned that once you’ve mastered self love, self acceptance and self respect it opens you and your heart space up to attract and receive unconditional love.

Some psychologist don’t believe that true love exists. But anyone that’s been following me for the past year knows that I’m a hopeless romantic. So, I’d like to kindly disagree with those psychologist. After witnessing 40 years of real and true love between my parents.

I believe that true love is real and attainable. Granted both parties have to be 100% dedicated, respectful, healed and willing to work on their partnership daily. Below is a list of what I believe are tell tale signs of real love.

10 Signs of Real Love

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  1. There’s an equal give and take in your partnership.
  2. Communication between the two of you is easy.
  3. You feel safe with each other. There’s trust. You’re not afraid of being hurt.
  4. You experience growth within yourselves and your partnership.
  5. You forgive each other and don’t harbor resentment.
  6. Effort and compromise is constantly and consistently being made.
  7. You acknowledge and accept each others differences.
  8. You have a partnership that isn’t rooted in selfishness.
  9. Your partner listens to you.
  10. There’s mutual respect.

Love can sometimes be confused with an attachment. Sometimes these unhealthy attachments show up physically, mentally and emotionally. Which can show up as emotional outburst, and emotional manipulation.

The sad part about this is that their are so many people that don’t even realize that their behavior isn’t a result of love. But instead is one of attachment. It’s most likely due to past trauma, trust issues, low self esteem or low self worth.

We’ve been programmed to believe that poor behavior, outbursts, fights and arguments constitute love. But truthfully I see this type of behavior as being insecure, immature and as a toxic attachment.

8 Signs Of a Unhealthy Attachment

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  1. Trust issues.
  2. Extreme jealousy.
  3. Sexually addicted.
  4. Constantly seeking approval.
  5. Emotionally and or financial dependent.
  6. You feel incomplete when you’re without your partner.
  7. Obsessing over your partner and what they are doing.
  8. Not knowing when or how to let go after the relationship has ran it’s course.

What is love?

Now that we know and have a better understanding of what love isn’t let’s dive deeper into what love is. Love is kind, patient, compassionate and understanding. You know what you have is real and solid when/once your relationship is tested.

If your able to display these emotions during the turbulent times in your relationship. It can help the bond deepen and the love that much stronger.

I remember when I use to get upset with my partners and throw tantrums. If I didn’t get the reaction I was looking for. I would become disappointed and then angry.

Which in return would led me to saying things that were hurtful and even hateful at times. Sadly, I turned a lot of men off and ran a lot of men away because of my toxic behavior.

Always remember once you say things you can’t take them back. A person can forgive, but will never forget. Love isn’t perfect but it’s worth working on and fighting for. Being entuned and in alignment with your partner are essential for the longevity of your relationship.

Some people may wonder how do you know when someone is the one? I’d say when your emotions and logic align.

Real love is something that has the ability to give you strength and power. It also allows you to be more patient, intentional, thoughtful, romantic, emotionally available and vulnerable with your partner. These things can also promote healing within you and your partner.

Love After A Toxic Relationship

You’re hardest relationship will be the one you have right after a toxic one. Rebuilding faith in love, trust and the ability to be vulnerable again is very hard. Being able to not be defensive and guarded isn’t always easy.

But love is a beautiful feeling and experience. I didn’t realize how beautiful love could really be. Or how it could make you feel until I met my twinflame.

As tumultuous as it’s been during our journey to union. I’ve also been able to experience love in it’s realest purest form… which is unconditionally.

Unconditional love was something that I’ve always given but felt like I never received. My twinflame and I experienced so much heartache, abandonment issues, childhood trauma and difficulties around love in the past.

We let fear creep in, power struggled, self sabotaged and doubted the connection. But the heart wants what the heart wants. So, over time we learned to fight through the obstacles and we found love… unconditionally.

If you can’t/don’t trust someone it’s almost impossible to love them correctly. Understanding your partner is also crucial.

Knowing that everyone’s love language is different and loving them based on those needs is essential. Everyone’s needs vary and everyone isn’t your ex. So, please don’t compare your person to that person.

Try opening your heart back up after heartbreak and healing has occurred. But also be patient with yourself and the process. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Don’t give up!!!

Just because what you thought you wanted didn’t work out. Doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. God doesn’t always give us what we want. But he always gives us what we need.

The feeling of love is the highest frequency you can emit. The greater the love you feel and emit, the greater the power you are harnessing.

-Rhonda Byme

In conclusion I’d like to leave you with a song by Rihanna. It embodies love and happiness that can be given to and from a person. Or emotions that you can honestly give yourself.

I hope this blog post helped someone and gave someone that push to either go towards love or to step away from toxic love. I ❤ you guys… thanks again for your continued support.

Don’t forget to like, comment and follow. Until next time. Stay safe and stay blessed.

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