Hole In My Soul

This poem was hard to write and even harder to post. This type of vulnerability is very hard to expose. We always celebrate love and hide hurt, heartache, and loss. I’m sure many of you have experienced the same heartbreak of your own. It’s now time to heal, blossom and grow. You’re worthy of love and so much more.

Author: J’Lee

Love tank on empty.

Mind full of rage.

Lisa Fischer on repeat.

How can I ease the pain?

My life is topsy-turvy and he’s to blame.

How could I not see it coming?

Was I that insane?

To even think that I could ever trust another man.

They say when it rains it really pours.

Just like my tears rolling simultaneously down my face.

I cried a fucking river but drowned in a lake.

I sunk straight to the bottom.. attached to my heart was a weight.

It’s crazy how your life can change drastically in the matter of a day.

Like my everyday life and world wasn’t already hard enough.

He was my lover, my best friend and he betrayed me.

I guess it’s really a thin line between love and hate.

I’ve found my way outta darker places and tougher spaces.

Yet and still, it doesn’t stop my precious heart from breaking.

He was supposed to love me, he was supposed to care.

Break my heart was the last thing he said he did.

You ever experienced pain so bad that you didn’t wanna live?

That’s how I felt when I realized my fairytale had finally come to an end.

Don’t know if Mr. Wrong could ever make things right.

Threw away what we were building all in one night.

Realized that I wasn’t loving me as much as I loved you.

Lost myself and my sight caught up in the rapture of you.

Loyal to a default is what I was to you.

Tried to run game on me what a shame on you.

I’m spiritually gifted and metaphysically aligned.

This feels like Deja vu… my ex-number two.

I’ve sat here for days contemplating my next move.

Initially I thought you did what you did because of me.

But now I realize it had more to do with you then me.

You’ve fallen off your path and you’re outta your mind.

Fooling yourself while tryna fool me.

Because I’ve always seemed to see right through you.

I can’t do this.. my heart can’t take anymore.

I guess you’ll be left to fight your demons on your own.

I was supposedly your saving grace.

I was supposed to be your home.

You’re twin flame… the other part of your soul.

This was supposed to be forever now I guess we’ll never know.

After all of this I’d rather be left alone.

I need rest, I need time to heal the hurt in my heart and to repair the hole in my soul.

It’s now time to love myself so much more.

This chapter ends with me leaving you alone.

My poor heart can’t take anymore.

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