Y’all ever met someone who you felt was perfect for you? But your past and their past has your heart and mind in a choke hold? Well, that was me and “him.” I love him bad and deeply, and that wont ever change. We have a deep connection that cannot be explained. This poem touches the surface of what we shared. If you know… you know. I’m sure that many of you will understand. My headache, my ex.. my love, my pain.
It’s better to have loved and lost than to not love at all.
Your loved filled my heart, but it also left me with ugly scars.
No matter how near or far.
Our love was beyond teflon strong.
It just wasn’t when we really needed it to be.
You and our love depleted me.
I once felt like God created you for me.
You and the love you gave felt like destiny…
We felt so blessed to me.
But the drama, your ex, and the stress got the best of me.
Your love brought me so much joy.
But my past left my heart wounded and hard.
I gave you all of me as much of me possibly.
But loving you triggered me and at times left me feeling incomplete.
Never understood how you could really love me and do it so selfishly.
But I get it now.. pain from your past, pain from your last holds you captively.
I took space and time to see what I want and need for me.
I knew when to claim defeat because your demons were bigger than me.
We went from on cloud nine to what the fuck we gonna do now.
I remember being blindsided.
I remember hurting and hiding it.
Well, as much as I could.
Showing my hand… my cards were laid out in the open.
But you were too triggered to even fucking notice.
Not not together because it could work.
Not together because it required selflessness, empathy, healing and work.
Something you weren’t used to seeing, giving, or being.
What we shared gave love a whole new meaning.
I truly hope you’re finally healing, winning, and knowing your worth.
If so, maybe one day this love affair could work.
Because the love we shared is worth more than this world will ever know.
I moved on but I haven’t lost hope.
Maybe the stars will align one day…
Only God knows.
Below is a song I wanna dedicate to “him.” Sometimes you have to wish people the best and let go.
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