The Dating Game

Sex Ain’t Better Than Love

But since sex has gotten easier to get, love has gotten harder to find.

Some would disagree with the statement above. But I stand on my views on this topic and I’ll explain. Who doesn’t love sex? Nothing compares to the feeling you get when your having sex with someone and they’re giving you back to back orgasms.

In that moment you’re on cloud nine….orgasms to me are the ultimate high. But when the pleasure is gone… it’s back to your reality. Some of us are then back in our beds alone until the next sexscapade. I know…I know some people are good with that. But I’d prefer eargasms, good times, shared values and goals. Listen, The idea of building with a good man who happens to have some amazingly good “D” is #goals to me.

But sadly, so many men and women are going out to bars and clubs looking for a random hook up. Or they’re in the dm’s looking for fun and not love. Has instant gratification won? I guess it sounds pretty good for those who love sex and momentary gain.

It must be nice to put in very little effort and still gain. I believe this is one of the main reasons why a lot of men are single or won’t commit.

I mean who’d pass up on full access to benefits that are usually given in a relationship? … Me!

I’m looking for a husband, best friend, business partner and a marriage that will stand the test of time. But I realize that there are a lot of people who aren’t. Which makes dating for me that much harder.

My Experience

I’ll admit that I’ve had some random hook ups. I’m a free spirited individual and I felt empowered with my decision. I’m not ashamed nor did I mind having encounters that I chose.

I feel better chosing for myself versus being pressured or tricked into sex.

What I dislike is dating someone who knows that they have zero intentions of being in a relationship. Yet they refuse to be upfront about it. I can’t respect that! I value honesty and transparency. Y’all know I got a story to tell lol.

I dated this guy name Tony earlier this year and I kinda got the feeling that he just wanted sex. But I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I’m a very blunt female so I told him straight up that I wasn’t looking for a friends with benefits type of situation.

I’m the type of person that doesn’t do anything that doesn’t serve my highest good. Simply because I know I’m looking for a husband and I want a family. So, what would be the purpose of me wasting my time in a friends with no real benefits type of situation.

I’m dating with a purpose!

Tony played it off like it wasn’t like that and he started courting me. We went out to bars, concerts, he cooked for me, we netflixed and chilled etc…

We spent a lot of time together. So much so that I would spend the night at his home several nights a week. We were definitely feeling each other and I thought things we’re going somewhere… Slowly but surely.

You guys wanna know if I gave him some of the goodies right? lol Well ….Yes, I did and it was sooooo good !! Tony had me feeling things that I never felt sexually. I mean he was hitting spots that I didn’t know I had. It was intense, passionate, sloppy and I was hooked.

He catered to me in and outside of the bedroom. What I liked about him the most was that our connection wasn’t based off purely sex. We really enjoyed each other’s company… We just vibed!

But what was being hidden would soon be revealed…..

Honestly, I believe Tony never expected to catch feelings for me. I really think it scared him. I noticed his moods would shift. It seemed like he didn’t know if he wanted to push me away or keep me close. Which irritated the hell outta me and made me pull away.

But the distance didn’t last long…. We reconciled. But it was short lived and we eventually had another falling out.

Bye-Bye Tony!

This one led to him finally being HONEST and admitting that even though he really liked me….he wasn’t ready to settle down. I know what y’all are thinking… he used me and he’s full of shit right. Yep, I was thinking the same thing!

Y’all I was so crushed…. but I kept it classy and cute. I knew all I needed to know and me and my goodies were gone. I still think about him from time to time. I really enjoyed the time we spent together regardless of the outcome!

You live and you learn.

I said all of that to say this…. Some men don’t realize that some women are okay being friends with benefits. There are women that have no problem sleeping with other people’s husbands. (I’m not one of them.) So, clearly there are women who are not opposed to casual hookups. But it’s usually with a person of their choice.

We don’t like the power of making decisions being taken away from us. With that being said men just be upfront and honest!

Love Wins In The End

Ultimately we all are going to get old and want someone to grow old with. So no matter how much we enjoy sex the heart eventually wants what it wants. I believe sex can never give you the type of fulfillment that real love gives.

Sadly, so many people are trying to avoid love. Their are quite a few things that influence a person’s decisions when it comes to sex and love.

Such as family, friends, career, religion, ego and heartbreak to name a few. Some people prefer superficial relationships over deep connections. Honestly, I feel sorry for these people. Mainly, because they are truly missing out on the beauty of finding love.

If you guys couldn’t tell….. I’m a hopeless romantic. So naturally I choose love over sex.

The feeling of having someone to go home to everyday. Someone that goes out of his or her way to make you smile. The one that makes you forget about all the problems you encountered that day. You know that person who truly understands you, loves and appreciates you.

Finding someone that makes life so much better…. is priceless.

No one is perfect and true love definitely won’t come without issues. But just think you’ll be going through those issues with someone you deem worthy of going through them with. Just image how bomb the sex is going to be with your forever, your life partner and your bestfriend.

Sounds like a win, win!

Below is a song by the artist Trey Songz… I hope you enjoy it!