And Then I Woke Up…

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Healing is hard but necessary… I decide to take you guys along on my journey with me. Let’s go…

I found love in the midst of pain.

Found hope in the darkness and the rain.

All I wanted and searched for seemed so far away.

But then you showed up and lit my world up.

Made me face my biggest fears.. your love made me smile again.

Rainbows, dreams, sweet love, and fairytales.

Pain, heartache, let downs and heartbreak.

Was all that I ever knew… until the day that I met you.

I let you in my heart.

It was the scariest yet most fulfilling feeling I’ve ever known.

Sweet and gentle like a kiss on the collar bone.

Your love was the greatest gift, and the hurt was the worst pain.

My tears left stains on my pillowcase.

Mascara running down my face.

My heart and mind running a tight race.

Some days you were my greatest choice and my worst mistake.

Rain drops on my windowsill.

Some days I ask myself was it all ever real?

Or did I make it up… all fifty leaven times that we made up.

You made me feel so beautiful with no make up.

Your love was real and healing at a point and time.

Your voice seemed to comfortably ease my mind.

How could something so good leave me in such disarray.

Drinking Jack Daniels to numb my pain.

Smoking weed to keep my emotions at bay.

Head over heart decisions… I refused to stay.

Just when I thought I was ready to move away from sadness and lonely days.

You put me back in that very place.

I thought we we’re parked in lovers lane.

Have you ever made love in the rain?

That use to be the wondrous feeling you we’re giving me.

Nostalgia, euphoria, mixed with growing pains.

To top it off inner child wounds that were never healed.

But on my darkest day God stepped in.

Gave me reasons to live, laugh and love again.

Feelings of hurt still linger still.

Thinking about what I lost and what I’ve gained.

Some times I ask myself was the risk even worth the pain?

Started speeding, swerving and switching lanes.

Searching for truth.

Searching for me… while searching for you.

But you weren’t giving clarity.

Just left me lost and confused.

Hot and cold were your constant moods.

Empty promises and I love you’s.

But in the midst of losing you.. I fell in love with me again.

I’m now learning my worth all over again… But I’m putting me first.

Learning to smile, laugh and enjoy life.

Currently enjoying the company of people that feel right.

So, for that very reason I don’t regret a thing.

I finally woke up from a deep deep sleep.

Now giving the phase you only live once a powerful meaning.

My head and my heart are now finally healing.

Thank you for being the reason… that I’m now ready to step into this new season.

-Sincerely Alicia

Don’t forget to follow, like and share. Until next time guys 😘.

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